


Golden Chance

by stuckinthegrey



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 06:22:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckinthegrey/pseuds/stuckinthegrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He just really fucking loves Zayn, a whole fucking lot, and if he's being given a golden chance like this, maybe God doesn't really hate Niall after all. #3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Golden Chance

This isn't supposed to be happening. He isn't supposed to be tumbling around the streets, numbly crossing roads. He isn't supposed to be taking his shoes off at his door and scrambling up the stairs. He isn't supposed to feel humiliated and embarrassed.

But somehow, he is.

He enters his room and throws himself onto his bed. He feels like shit, honestly, and maybe that has something to do with the fact that he just got kicked out of his best friend's place because Zayn wanted to spend some fucking alone time with his girlfriend.

He doesn't want to care, but fuck - when does Niall ever not care?

They were supposed to catch up, supposed to spend the night together and Niall was supposed to sleep over at his place too, but then the blonde fucking bimbo had to call and tell him that she was on his way, effectively ruining all chances of carrying out their plans.

It sucked, really, and what sucks even more is this feeling of jealousy he gets whenever Zayn talks about her with hearts in his fucking eyes. He gets this feeling, like something munching on his chest and eating at his heart until there is nothing left of it, and yeah, maybe Niall is losing his mind but he honestly doesn't give a shit.

He strips off his clothes until he is in nothing but his boxers, and he cuddles under his blankets with his arms behind his head, staring straight at the patterns on the ceiling wallpaper. He thinks about how tangled they are, how mixed up and confusing the patterns are just like his life and how fucked up it is.

He sighs.

He doesn't want to think about anything, not about Zayn and definitely not about the clenching feeling in his chest. He just wants to fucking sleep, and fall into a deep slumber where there is no worries, but God just hates him, doesn't he?

Obviously, God just shows him how much more He hates him because then the door bell is ringing rather loudly. Niall actually considers staying in bed and ignoring it, but then the person continues ringing obnoxiously, and Niall doesn't know weather to throw a brick out the window onto the persons head, or go all the way downstairs to give them a good beating.

He stomps down the stairs after a grabbing a white shirt and slams the door open, and he really isn't expecting the visitor.

It's Zayn. He's standing outside with a cigarette, clad in his leather jacket. Niall knows it's not normal for him to smoke at casual times like these; he only does it when there's something troubling him, or he's feeling extra guilty or bad about something, but still, Niall doesn't care.  
He does not care.

"Why didn't you open the door?" Zayn asks, his hands in his pockets as he inhales the thick smoke.

"None of your fucking business," Niall snaps, and walks away over to the couch rather unwelcomingly. He leaves the door wide open though, so Zayn takes it as an invitation to come in.

He throws the cigarette and grinds his foot on it before coming in, taking his shoes off and sitting on the couch beside him. Niall doesn't acknowledge his presence at all, instead grabbing the remote and turning the TV on.

They sit there for a while; Niall stares at the tele and Zayn has his hands in his hair while leaning his elbows on his thighs, hunching forwards. It is silent, completely and utterly silent except for the soft music humming on the television.

Honestly, Niall knows that he is overreacting like shit, and that he's making a huge deal out of the tiniest thing ever, but he wants to hurt Zayn in anyway he can, he wants Zayn to be in his shoes for once and experience the pain he feels.

Finally, Zayn realises that Niall isn't going to be talking anytime soon, and he takes matters into his own hand. "We need to talk." He says, placing a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"No we don't need to fucking talk," he spits, and Zayn knows that he's exceeded the limits this time. It's not that he doesn't regret asking him to leave, he really does, it's just that when Niall's upset he usually builds a shell around his soft heart. He retreats into himself, acting cold and distant but they both know it's only a matter of time until the real Niall is back.

"Listen, Niall, I owe you an explanation-"

"You don't owe me shit." Niall says automatically.

"Will you just shut the fuck up and let me talk?" Zayn asks, exasperated by his lack of tolerance. Yes, he knows Niall's deeply upset and maybe a little hurt, but it does not give him the right to act like a complete asshole for it either.

He doesn't say anything this time. Zayn takes it as an indication to talk.

"I'm sorry. I knew we had plans and I was just excited about this as you are, it's just, she seemed really urgent-" Niall snorts at that, Zayn ignores him, "-and I honestly regret it. I really shouldn't have accepted seeing as all she wanted was to tell me she'd been cheating-"

"What?" Niall cuts in, some sort of emotion on his face for the first time that night.

"Yeah, she was cheating. I'm over it, don't worry."

The pitiful look on Niall's face disappears just as quickly as it had come, and Zayn wonders if Niall will actually warm up to him this time.

"What? You're not going to tell me that I deserve better? That I'll get over it soon? That everything will be okay?" Zayn says this as a light joke, but inwardly both he and Niall know that he means it so much more seriously.

"No." Niall shrugs.

He looks indifferent, careless and it breaks something in Zayn. He's never liked it when Niall acts like he doesn't care, because he has a huge heart, and as much as he tries not to care, it doesn't change the fact that he obviously does; a lot more than any other person would.  
  
"What?"

"How do you expect me to cheer you up after I've been hurting for years? You would always talk to me about your latest fling, and I would act just as excited about it as you were because I wanted to see you happy and fuck - what was I even doing," he says all in one breathe, leaning his elbow on the edge of the couch, as he stares straight at the TV, "but you couldn't even read in between the lines and realise that I was fucking in love-" Zayn's eyes widen and his breath catches in his throat, "-with you for me to be too happy about anything else."   
After this, Zayn realises that if they were in any other situation, Niall would've comforted him in anyway possible. He is broken, and Zayn obviously deserves every single fucking ounce of pain he's experienced, and even after all of that, it's still nothing compared to the stuff Niall's been through.

"Niall, I - I..."

"Save it Zayn-"

"I love you." Zayn says, suddenly, and Niall looks exactly like a fish with his mouth wide open, and his eyes large with shock, and Zayn would've laughed hadn't they been in this situation.

"I don't need no mind games-"

"I love you," he says again, firmly this time and ignoring any comment Niall has to say about it, because he knows what he's saying is true, and feels too good to finally have this off his chest. "I love you so much. Been in love with you for years actually, and maybe that's why Louis would always tell me go to for it, and why I would chicken out that last minute. I always tried to date other people because I had honestly convinced myself that we could never be more than friends. I'm sorry." He's got his head in his hands now, hiding his face because Zayn can't even trust himself to look into Niall's eyes.

At least Niall didn't talk about getting into his girlfriend/boyfriend's pants in front of his best friend that he was in love with, and the thought makes Zayn shrink even more in his seat. He just feels so fucking bad. He's always promised Niall that he would protect him from anything, anybody, and now he understands what Niall means when he says, "how can you protect somebody else from yourself?"

"Are... you're not kidding around with me?" Niall asks, incredulously, hopefully, almost pleading. His eyes are wide, and teary, and just begging, and it if this doesn't prove how many times he's been hurt before, Zayn doesn't know what does. He knew it would've only been a few moments before Niall opened up. They know eachother so well; like they know the back of their hands, like they know their way around their houses.

"No, I'm fucking not." Zayn says, holding Niall's face with his hands. He suddenly gets a rush of courage that flows through him, and he stares into those baby blue eyes and Zayn just inwardly punches himself; why hadn't this happened sooner?

"Can I kiss you then?" Niall asks sheepishly.

"Yeah, go ahea-" but the last sound is cut off when Niall's lips press against his own. None of them know, really, how years of friendship has lead for this to happen. Niall really just fucking loves him, a whole fucking lot, and if God's giving him a chance like this, maybe He doesn't really hate Niall after all.

-

**Author's Note:**

> that went from niall's pov, to zayn's, and then back to niall's?  
> omg i totally suck waah just tell me what you think!!


End file.
